Stubborn 4 Year Olds - Great List of Behaviors

I posted this page a long time ago, and in looking it up, found it as a dead link.  Well, the link is fixed, and the 4-year old description is still right on. 

In a related story, Lutz Roeder said my children's names (Natalie & Cora) are strange.  I don't know what to think about that. :)

This was taken from Elaine Gibson's "How Kids Grow: Defining Normal Behavior Birth Through Age Twelve" - enjoy!

What to expect: The "Out of Bounds" 4 is exuberant and rebellious.

  • the child talks well and thinks the child is a big shot.
  • Fours tell outrageous lies and are very stubborn.
  • They talk all the time and mix reality and fantasy.
  • They ask "why" in order to argue.
  • They are bossy and defiant, "I won't".
  • They refuse to nap but will fall asleep at 5:30 and wake up ready to stay up all night.
  • They think up all sorts of ways to avoid getting in bed.
  • At night, they are likely to have bad dreams.
  • They can dress and undress themselves with little assistance.
  • They eat too fast or not at all.
  • They can now wash hands and face and brush teeth without assistance if they have been trained.
  • They run ahead of adults and refuse to hold hands.
  • Fours play feelies with other children and need honest information about bodies and babies.
  • A fussy four needs exercise and then a rest.
  • When excited, the child will need to urinate.
  • When stressed, the child's stomach will hurt.

Needs: Social opportunities.

  • Small play groups.
  • Props for pretend play.
  • Art materials for creative expression.
  • Tolerance.
  • Parents with a sense of humor.

Discipline: Don't argue with a four.

  • Talk less than the child does.
  • Don't ask a four if the child did something. You will teach the child to lie.
  • Teach the child the consequences for misbehavior; then when the child misbehaves, apply the consequences.
  • Be very consistent with a four and the child will learn to control the child's own behavior.
  • Four seems big but the child is still a baby when stressed or tired.
  • Give the child lots of hugs and kisses even if you have to catch the child to do it.
Print | posted on Friday, February 25, 2005 2:45 PM


# re: Stubborn 4 Year Olds - Great List of Behaviors

left by Natasha at 8/10/2010 12:59 PM Gravatar
I completly agree to the above disciption. and I wonder how the rest of my life is going to go. The "whys", arguments and discissions start from the time the Sun is up and never ends even at midnights. Its a TASK to make my 4 yr old eat and sleep. She is so active that my 7 month old also wants to lead her excited life. Sometimes I really wonder what is going to happen to me....:-)

# re: Stubborn 4 Year Olds - Great List of Behaviors

left by Rafina at 12/30/2010 4:29 AM Gravatar
(Referring to the description above)its so right. Almost as in your talking about my four year old.My boy can be very stubborn. Sometimes i cant help but think what the future hold.
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